Stoop Down and Reach Out

How many times have you had a conversation like this with someone, even someone close to you: “Hey, how are you?” “Great! How are you?” “Awesome. How are things?” “We are doing great! Never been better.” “Me, too! It doesn’t get much better than this.” “I know! We’ve never been happier. How are your kids?” “They are great! How about yours?” “Oh, they are such blessings. How are things at the office?” “It couldn’t be any better!” “How is your wife?” “Seems like we are more in love today than we've ever been."

“Us, too...” and on and on and on. Often the very people having those verbal exchanges are facing financial difficulty, tension in their home, a physical sickness, troubled children, personal discouragement or all of the above. Yet we don’t feel like we can “share our burdens,” even with close friends or leaders in the church. Why is that? What is the balance between “hold fast to your profession of faith,” and “bear one another’s burdens,” “weep with those who weep,” or “we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak”? This subject is probably too involved to tackle in a few paragraphs, but maybe it will stir us to a greater openness to and with people.

Several recent incidents have prompted a lot of thought and prayer on this matter. We’ve all known people, even close Christian friends, who “suddenly” end up in divorce court. They divorce over issues that have built up over months and years. Have you ever wondered why those friends didn’t ask for help? We recently learned that a young woman we met years ago who worked closely with the leadership of one of the largest Christian organizations in the world committed suicide because she found herself in a situation that appeared hopeless.

Perhaps the most tragic incident came to a conclusion a few weeks ago when a young friend of ours was sentenced to a minimum of 21 years in prison. He admitted guilt for crimes that were grievous, and we prayed for all who were adversely affected. I accept the fact that there are repercussions for his actions, yet when I heard the sentence announced, I wept. This young man has been a family friend for over 22 years. He was 4 years old when we first met him, and we saw him nearly every day for over 15 years. Our typical response when we hear of a Christian caught in sin is to be “appalled,” but perhaps there should be a pause and some self-examination. Although I knew I wasn’t “responsible,” I was open to the fact that maybe I had missed something, somewhere in those 15 years.

I asked Dave these questions: “Is there anything about US that makes people feel they can't ask us for help? Why weren’t we spiritually sensitive enough to detect that there was a problem? Do we personally or as the Body of Christ create an environment with our shallow conversation and busy life that prevents people from sharing serious issues? Are WE too proud to ask for help when we need it?”

Romans 15:1 in The Message Bible says, “Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status.” It is very important to remember that the “oppressed” spoken about in Galatians 6:2 aren’t necessarily unsaved people who live across the ocean or on “the wrong side of the tracks.” It could be one of your

It makes me stop and think when Anna comes to me for a good-night hug.

• Does she have my full attention? (She always knows when I am distracted.)

• Am I hugging her with my whole heart?

• Does she know she is the most important thing in the world to me?

• Do I fully value the time we have together?

• Does she know she can talk with me about anything?

• Does she know I think she is the most beautiful young lady inside and out?

• Does she know I want her to have everything she needs and desires?

Jesus said in Matthew 18: 5-6, And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck. It’s very sobering to realize that to Anna, the way I treat her is her measure of how much God loves her. I’m accountable to God for that. The scripture indicates the way I love her is also a measure of how much I love Jesus.

You may be the measure of the love of God to someone close to you and not even know it.

I’m happy to report it was one of the most wonderful Christmases ever for all of us. We made last-minute arrangements to go to University Village, a retirement center near the campus of Oral Roberts University, on Christmas Day. While Dave got the room prepared, Christine, Daniel, Anna and I went door-to-door wishing all of the residents a Merry Christmas and inviting those who were able to join us for a little Christmas service.

Dave gave them an opportunity to share a Christmas memory and took song requests. (My favorite request was Come Thou Fount.) Anna sang Silent Night, Daniel sang Amazing Grace, and then Dave shared from the Bible. It was a precious time loving each other and having fellowship focused on the most important event in history, the birth of Jesus.

One dear lady told all of us that she was 98 years old and this was the FIRST Christmas in 98 years that she wasn’t with family. She wasn’t complaining, and told us how wonderful her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren were, but that they just weren’t able to be with her this year.

Ninety-eight years. I decided not to be troubled anymore about Jessica being away! Instead, I’ll be thankful for all the time we have together.

I’m continually amazed at the combination of things that make for a full and happy life.

Last night, our son Daniel called and wanted to come home from the college dorm and visit for awhile. We spent the better part of an hour discussing several opportunities that are before him. We had a wonderful visit and prayed together before he returned to school.

Anna Joy, still our baby girl at 14, had just returned from a varsity basketball game and was looking in the kitchen for a late night snack before homework and bedtime. She kissed Daniel and me goodnight as she went upstairs.

At about the same time, our daughter Christine and her fiancé David King arrived to talk about their upcoming wedding plans. It was good to hear their excitement as they move toward the altar in May.

All of these family events and conversations are a part of what makes a house a home. This house would be a pretty cold and lonely place without the warmth of God’s presence and the love of family.

I love word definitions and often go to Webster’s Dictionary to find the meaning of new or unfamiliar words. Although house and home are not unfamiliar words, I thought the definitions were an interesting contrast. House: a building for human beings to live in. Home: a place where one likes to be; a place thought of as the center of one’s affections; the place where something has been founded and developed; the place to rest. Psalm 127: 1 says, “Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is useless...”

This morning, our daughter Jessica bounded through our front door with the floor plans for a new house that she and her husband Brad are planning to build. It will be a great experience for them. I heard someone say once, “If your marriage can survive building a new house, then it can survive anything!” It will be a wonderful thing to watch them develop their new house into their home.